Elle Sheri 的个人资料[London :: Seattle] Fall...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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11月17日 The Time Capsule[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]
 "To the left..
To the left.. Everything you own In the box to the left.."
 Dear Gabrielle,
'Calamity Jane' is my latest nickname!
 The past two weeks, yours truly has single-handedly spinned the office gossip mill into overdrive with tales of one misfortune or another. Apparently Misfortune loves my company!
 There's one of me tumbling down the staircase, injuring my head and twisting my knees. There's also the other one where I broke down in tears infront of the boss. I don't normally make a habit of being a cry baby but thanks to the world's most unreliable transport system (London Transport), no matter what routes I takes and how early I leave, I just cannot get to work on time. Every single day...
"F&%* you, God!" I burst out in public on Wednesday. Even I startled myself with my absolute act of rebel!
I mean, here I am a meek, total believer in the Higher Power but by then, I had already reached a breaking point.."Why is it always one thing or another? I'm fricking tired of this. What is it that you want from me?!" I stared heavenward in utter exhaustion and humiliation. "What it it? Answer me!"
God answered me that night. Haha. Well kind of. He sent me an email time capsule I wrote to myself one year ago. What an excellent reminder of life a year before. So much has changed and for the better. I read it all and clarity rushed in. For the first time that day, I laughed. What can I say? God has a brilliant sense of humour sometimes
"Someone's watching over you huh," a colleague stated matter of factly as she passed me by the next day. "It could have been worst, your fall. You could have broken your neck. I'm glad you are ok."
"Yeah, I know, right." I smiled indulgently to myself. "That does not kill you make you stronger huh?"
Forgive me God, for I have sinned...
 Passionately Sinning,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved.
*Excerpts from Beyonces' ''To The Left" THE TIME CAPSULE
Greetings from your past. In the fall of 2005, you agreed to receive this message, which has been preserved for a year in the Forbes.com E-Mail Time Capsule. For more details, visit http://www.forbes.com/capsule
Here is the text of your message: Right this moment, ur watching CSI Miami.. the one about the alligator and some guy getting killed.. u did not focus much cos ur surfing online at same time.. Ur mobile does not work.. spillage incident in bed, dont ask ;) and ur soo into ur blog. u have a sister in manchester, coral and she writes to u everyday. she's cool and u have yet to meet her. u are on an adam*love diet mind u.. remember this permalink? http://spaces.msn.com/members/ellesheri/Blog/cns!1peKNNiRRgaKZpqIw01divPA!1352.entry anyway so yeah u were heartbroken from simon(who?) and u jumped into bed with vittotio.. and then tristan (who again?) came. u discovered u were right all along.. they are all unworthy boys for u... u wonder where mr right is.. u feel lonely yet u feel u have way too much excess luggage.. so u need to unload them and move on.. u also have learnt soo much life's lessons.. ur not built to have casual sex and thats its quite impossible to have friendships w men.. very difficult cos
someone always wants something.. uve been getting quite nostalgic lately thinking of all the ex bf.. including jake and the good times.. but it passed as soon as it came. ur job is unsatisfying. u like it but u feel like ur going nowhere... u have yet to get a payrise .. is that good now elle? anyway whatever u do nov 16 2006.. im sure ur miles away from what u are right now.. theres always room for improvement.. plus im sure u would have learnt more and more .. :) whatever u are and what u decide to be.. im very proud of u.. and that will never change. Loves Me xo 11月14日 The Evil Neccessity of Lingering Temptations[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] "You know I'm such a fool for you,
You got me wrapped around your finger, Do you have to let it linger?"  Dear Gabrielle,
I have never been one to deny myself. If ever there is a crippling downfall of mine, it would be my complete inability to resist temptations
Like Eve in the Garden of Eden, I just cannot stop myself from biting into that sinful, juicy apple. The apple, it really varies. From the last indulgent Hersheys Kisses to spontaneous extravagant purchases, right down to scandalous moonlight kisses- it seems I have little power to deny myself indulgences.
What's wrong with me, you ask?
Well, just the promises of excitement and a thousand possibilities gets me all giddy and breathless. It stirs my imagination into overdrive.. I just cannot wait to jump into the next adventure..
Of all the temptations in the world, one seemed to capture my imagination more than most. It disguises itself in the form of hot boys
After my painful break-up with Jake, they were all I ever knew. Familiar, flighty and terribly exciting. Boy upon boy beckons. There was never a reason to say no to them. That is, until I met a Man.
Man just blew me away
Maybe it is my lack of experience with one -I just don't know what to make of him! All the games I learnt from those boys were deemed useless. It's a different ball game with a Man. He plays honesty. Bizzare, no?The Man also has a way of keeping me excited yet safe in his arms. Do those traits even go together?! Huh?!
The wonderful thing about a Man is that he has strong principles yet is secure enough to let me have my way most times. What a difference a man makes. So, I don't need someone to make me whole. Yet man appreciates me so much so that he brings an extra spring to my step! It's only been awhile but dating a Man has slowly changed me.
How do I know? Well, as if to test me, the same old temptations suddenly beckoned.
1) Saturday night- a hot boy tempted me with cocktails and sweet nothings.
2) Sunday afternoon- sexy boy I used to date bumped and flirted with me mercilessly.
3) Monday evening- Vittorio, the boy who I was in love with (and absent) for the past year found me in my gym.
Did they tempt me? Of course they did. My first reaction was to indulge myself. Did I do anything about it though? No, I simply walked away.
The evil neccessity of lingering temptations is that it makes you realise, how the likes of a dependable Man is preferable to a gazillion and one flighty temptations.
A-men...
Passionately Tempted,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved.
*Excerpts from Cranberries' ''Linger" 11月7日 Love Chasing...[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] "Suddenly I see...
She got the power to be
The power to give The power to see.."  Dear Gabrielle,
For a very long time, I believed that Love loves playing tricks on me. Time and again, it led me to believe I may have found Love. It got me on impromptu chases. I ran as fast as I could.
I never could catch Love.
"What is it about love staring you in the face ,
yet always remaining so out of reach?" I asked the Seraphims.
We were all baffled. I began to lose faith in Love. There were days when I even hate Love. A paradox of gigantic proportions, I know!
 "I have had enough, I am not dealing with Love and all its bull.."
I kept repeating for those willing to hear. Everyone nod their heads dutifully.
Love obviously has other plans. Wherever I go, whatever I do, Love has a way of tempting me. Always with the same goodie; a boy with different faces.
How impossible for a (then)girl to stay in the path of straight and narrow, you tell me Gabe?
It (always) ended up with her going through the same motion - a web of exciting but brief romantic entanglements.One day she started moaning to her platboys.
"How come there are no great guys out there for me?"
"Oh Elle, you are the blindest bat I know!" Amadeus exclaimed diplomatically. "Great guys are bloody everywhere. You just refuse to see them."
She looked at him funny then dismissed his logic. Few weeks later, another platboy provided much unsolicited observation.
"Dude, you are too much of a free spirit to settle down!" he grinned as we were dancing.
"Flailing arms and rocking head does not a free spirit make!" I was slightly insulted. And to announce it infront of his eligible bachelor friends too..
"I have spent forever trying to chase Love. I have a darn blog as evidence!"
Dude shook his head cynically and rolled his eyes.
"Dude, has it occured to you that Love has been chasing you all along but it is you who kept running away from it?"
I fumed but my womanly intuition was strangely feeling his reasoning..
"I know more than a few guys who would love to be with you. Truth is, you don't want to be caught...."
What absurd reasoning, I thought!
Later that night found me asking, "What if he was right? What if I have viewed Love from a completely wrong angle?"
All these while, I have adopted a victim's mentality. I kept asking 'Why can I never fall in love?'. What if maybe, I had a lot to do with not falling in love?
Click!
Like a Ruben's cube,
 everything suddenly fits into place. The truth is, Love has tried out a million and one form to try to make me fall in love .. But I have chosen options and people that make it impossible for me to do so..
Those emotionally unavailable boys, long distance infatuations and 22 year old toyboys -I could easily have said 'No' to them. But I didn't cause I love the thrill of new love affairs.They demanded very little of me.. Those great men (you included) who are materials for long lasting love stories, I kept running away from..why?
Funny, I grew up craving the Fairytale I was brought up with. In my head, I wanted Prince Charming to live happily ever after with. But in my heart, I rather be the Princess responsible for her own happy ever after.
That's my honest truth to goodness truth..
"It's okay, you know," the much-married Dior kindly stated as I loudly wondered if there was something wrong with me. "Not everyone is meant for a house with white picket fences and 2.4 kids. Some are meant to explore new places, touch new faces and sense new experiences on their own. Just like your favourite eagle."
Like my favourite eagle indeed. *Sigh* Sometimes, it is the hardest thing in the world accepting who you really are. But doing otherwise, is next to impossible, no?
Now, here's a note for Love. You can chase me all you want, I have little objections. Afterall, I would not trade all your adventures for the world. Maybe one day, I may get tired of running and you will catch up
 I am wise enough to never say never. Till then, I shall live the way my heart craves- happily ever after with me, myself and I...Passionately Happy,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved.
*Excerpts from KT Tunstall's ''Suddenly I See" |
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