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May 23 Saving Lost Lives[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]
This one's for all the amazing friends on spaces.
For the unwavering support throughout the years
Thank you for your touching concerns despite the absence
Truly, I am blessed.
Elle xo
 "Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life..."  Dear Gabrielle,
Here I am, almost six months to the day I last wrote to you.
How is it that someone I used to bare my heart and soul, feels a stranger? How come with every word, I feel like I am intruding someone else's space?
Six months, definitely a long time to live without you. Not by lack of trying, I can assure you. So many attempts there have been. Always starting with a "Dear Gabrielle..". Always ending with nothing.
How come I have so much to say, yet no way to say it? Why is it so hard Gabe? Six months and I have lost everything. Yet I have gained everything and so much more.
So here I am today attempting to save lives. Not only mine but the girl that I once was. This space was hers. The stories was for her to tell. Not me.
I am therefore closing doors and bidding my last goodbye. To her, a toast to a free spirit and the most passionate individual I have ever known. May her memories live in this space.
To you, the love of her life.
To everyone who has been feeling, crying and laughing along with her in her life's journey
 With this, I am opening a new door.
http://ellesheri2.spaces.live.com
I'll see you there Gabe?
Passionately Saving,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved.
*Excerpts from The Fray's ''How To Save A Life" December 25 South Beach & Ryan....[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]
 Dear Gabrielle,
So much has happened the past month with the Man, I can't even begin to tell you. Ups and downs and merry-go-rounds. So much has also been learnt. Yup, I'm learning so much this year alone, it feels like I need a vacation to get away from it all!
So off I fly this Chrismas day to the sultry skies of South Beach. Trust me, you would be desperate for sunshine after exposure to this unneccesary chilly, foggy London weather.
Oh and guess what?? Remember Ryan? Yes, the hottie I met exactly a year ago in South Beach? By sheer coincidence, he will also be there for the New Year! What did I say before? Just when I thought I would see the last of him, Ryan comes back into the scene again.. Go figure..
Hopefully despite the madness, I have time to center myself again...
Centering, centering, centering..
Have a great Christmas and fabulous New Year, Gabe! Passionately Centering,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved. November 17 The Time Capsule[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]
"To the left..
To the left.. Everything you own In the box to the left.."
 Dear Gabrielle,
'Calamity Jane' is my latest nickname!
 The past two weeks, yours truly has single-handedly spinned the office gossip mill into overdrive with tales of one misfortune or another. Apparently Misfortune loves my company!
 There's one of me tumbling down the staircase, injuring my head and twisting my knees. There's also the other one where I broke down in tears infront of the boss. I don't normally make a habit of being a cry baby but thanks to the world's most unreliable transport system (London Transport), no matter what routes I takes and how early I leave, I just cannot get to work on time. Every single day...
"F&%* you, God!" I burst out in public on Wednesday. Even I startled myself with my absolute act of rebel!
I mean, here I am a meek, total believer in the Higher Power but by then, I had already reached a breaking point.."Why is it always one thing or another? I'm fricking tired of this. What is it that you want from me?!" I stared heavenward in utter exhaustion and humiliation. "What it it? Answer me!"
God answered me that night. Haha. Well kind of. He sent me an email time capsule I wrote to myself one year ago. What an excellent reminder of life a year before. So much has changed and for the better. I read it all and clarity rushed in. For the first time that day, I laughed. What can I say? God has a brilliant sense of humour sometimes
"Someone's watching over you huh," a colleague stated matter of factly as she passed me by the next day. "It could have been worst, your fall. You could have broken your neck. I'm glad you are ok."
"Yeah, I know, right." I smiled indulgently to myself. "That does not kill you make you stronger huh?"
Forgive me God, for I have sinned...
 Passionately Sinning,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved.
*Excerpts from Beyonces' ''To The Left" THE TIME CAPSULE
Greetings from your past. In the fall of 2005, you agreed to receive this message, which has been preserved for a year in the Forbes.com E-Mail Time Capsule. For more details, visit http://www.forbes.com/capsule
Here is the text of your message: Right this moment, ur watching CSI Miami.. the one about the alligator and some guy getting killed.. u did not focus much cos ur surfing online at same time.. Ur mobile does not work.. spillage incident in bed, dont ask ;) and ur soo into ur blog. u have a sister in manchester, coral and she writes to u everyday. she's cool and u have yet to meet her. u are on an adam*love diet mind u.. remember this permalink? http://spaces.msn.com/members/ellesheri/Blog/cns!1peKNNiRRgaKZpqIw01divPA!1352.entry anyway so yeah u were heartbroken from simon(who?) and u jumped into bed with vittotio.. and then tristan (who again?) came. u discovered u were right all along.. they are all unworthy boys for u... u wonder where mr right is.. u feel lonely yet u feel u have way too much excess luggage.. so u need to unload them and move on.. u also have learnt soo much life's lessons.. ur not built to have casual sex and thats its quite impossible to have friendships w men.. very difficult cos
someone always wants something.. uve been getting quite nostalgic lately thinking of all the ex bf.. including jake and the good times.. but it passed as soon as it came. ur job is unsatisfying. u like it but u feel like ur going nowhere... u have yet to get a payrise .. is that good now elle? anyway whatever u do nov 16 2006.. im sure ur miles away from what u are right now.. theres always room for improvement.. plus im sure u would have learnt more and more .. :) whatever u are and what u decide to be.. im very proud of u.. and that will never change. Loves Me xo November 14 The Evil Neccessity of Lingering Temptations[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] "You know I'm such a fool for you,
You got me wrapped around your finger, Do you have to let it linger?"  Dear Gabrielle,
I have never been one to deny myself. If ever there is a crippling downfall of mine, it would be my complete inability to resist temptations
Like Eve in the Garden of Eden, I just cannot stop myself from biting into that sinful, juicy apple. The apple, it really varies. From the last indulgent Hersheys Kisses to spontaneous extravagant purchases, right down to scandalous moonlight kisses- it seems I have little power to deny myself indulgences.
What's wrong with me, you ask?
Well, just the promises of excitement and a thousand possibilities gets me all giddy and breathless. It stirs my imagination into overdrive.. I just cannot wait to jump into the next adventure..
Of all the temptations in the world, one seemed to capture my imagination more than most. It disguises itself in the form of hot boys
After my painful break-up with Jake, they were all I ever knew. Familiar, flighty and terribly exciting. Boy upon boy beckons. There was never a reason to say no to them. That is, until I met a Man.
Man just blew me away
Maybe it is my lack of experience with one -I just don't know what to make of him! All the games I learnt from those boys were deemed useless. It's a different ball game with a Man. He plays honesty. Bizzare, no?The Man also has a way of keeping me excited yet safe in his arms. Do those traits even go together?! Huh?!
The wonderful thing about a Man is that he has strong principles yet is secure enough to let me have my way most times. What a difference a man makes. So, I don't need someone to make me whole. Yet man appreciates me so much so that he brings an extra spring to my step! It's only been awhile but dating a Man has slowly changed me.
How do I know? Well, as if to test me, the same old temptations suddenly beckoned.
1) Saturday night- a hot boy tempted me with cocktails and sweet nothings.
2) Sunday afternoon- sexy boy I used to date bumped and flirted with me mercilessly.
3) Monday evening- Vittorio, the boy who I was in love with (and absent) for the past year found me in my gym.
Did they tempt me? Of course they did. My first reaction was to indulge myself. Did I do anything about it though? No, I simply walked away.
The evil neccessity of lingering temptations is that it makes you realise, how the likes of a dependable Man is preferable to a gazillion and one flighty temptations.
A-men...
Passionately Tempted,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved.
*Excerpts from Cranberries' ''Linger" November 07 Love Chasing...[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] "Suddenly I see...
She got the power to be
The power to give The power to see.."  Dear Gabrielle,
For a very long time, I believed that Love loves playing tricks on me. Time and again, it led me to believe I may have found Love. It got me on impromptu chases. I ran as fast as I could.
I never could catch Love.
"What is it about love staring you in the face ,
yet always remaining so out of reach?" I asked the Seraphims.
We were all baffled. I began to lose faith in Love. There were days when I even hate Love. A paradox of gigantic proportions, I know!
 "I have had enough, I am not dealing with Love and all its bull.."
I kept repeating for those willing to hear. Everyone nod their heads dutifully.
Love obviously has other plans. Wherever I go, whatever I do, Love has a way of tempting me. Always with the same goodie; a boy with different faces.
How impossible for a (then)girl to stay in the path of straight and narrow, you tell me Gabe?
It (always) ended up with her going through the same motion - a web of exciting but brief romantic entanglements.One day she started moaning to her platboys.
"How come there are no great guys out there for me?"
"Oh Elle, you are the blindest bat I know!" Amadeus exclaimed diplomatically. "Great guys are bloody everywhere. You just refuse to see them."
She looked at him funny then dismissed his logic. Few weeks later, another platboy provided much unsolicited observation.
"Dude, you are too much of a free spirit to settle down!" he grinned as we were dancing.
"Flailing arms and rocking head does not a free spirit make!" I was slightly insulted. And to announce it infront of his eligible bachelor friends too..
"I have spent forever trying to chase Love. I have a darn blog as evidence!"
Dude shook his head cynically and rolled his eyes.
"Dude, has it occured to you that Love has been chasing you all along but it is you who kept running away from it?"
I fumed but my womanly intuition was strangely feeling his reasoning..
"I know more than a few guys who would love to be with you. Truth is, you don't want to be caught...."
What absurd reasoning, I thought!
Later that night found me asking, "What if he was right? What if I have viewed Love from a completely wrong angle?"
All these while, I have adopted a victim's mentality. I kept asking 'Why can I never fall in love?'. What if maybe, I had a lot to do with not falling in love?
Click!
Like a Ruben's cube,
 everything suddenly fits into place. The truth is, Love has tried out a million and one form to try to make me fall in love .. But I have chosen options and people that make it impossible for me to do so..
Those emotionally unavailable boys, long distance infatuations and 22 year old toyboys -I could easily have said 'No' to them. But I didn't cause I love the thrill of new love affairs.They demanded very little of me.. Those great men (you included) who are materials for long lasting love stories, I kept running away from..why?
Funny, I grew up craving the Fairytale I was brought up with. In my head, I wanted Prince Charming to live happily ever after with. But in my heart, I rather be the Princess responsible for her own happy ever after.
That's my honest truth to goodness truth..
"It's okay, you know," the much-married Dior kindly stated as I loudly wondered if there was something wrong with me. "Not everyone is meant for a house with white picket fences and 2.4 kids. Some are meant to explore new places, touch new faces and sense new experiences on their own. Just like your favourite eagle."
Like my favourite eagle indeed. *Sigh* Sometimes, it is the hardest thing in the world accepting who you really are. But doing otherwise, is next to impossible, no?
Now, here's a note for Love. You can chase me all you want, I have little objections. Afterall, I would not trade all your adventures for the world. Maybe one day, I may get tired of running and you will catch up
 I am wise enough to never say never. Till then, I shall live the way my heart craves- happily ever after with me, myself and I...Passionately Happy,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved.
*Excerpts from KT Tunstall's ''Suddenly I See" October 28 Remebe[red]: A Girl, Her Broken Heart & A Laptop[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] "This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive.."  Dear Gabrielle,
Here lies a girl you used to know so well. One I now know so little of.
Herein lies her memory.
:: REMEMBE(RED) ::
"How am I gonna mend this broken heart?" the girl pondered in despair.
Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw it in all its shiny, glistening glory.. The laptop!
Voila! "I am going to write my heart out to Gabe, like I used to!"
She wrote most days. Most nights, the extent of her broken heart was amplified. Only the weekends kept her going.
Clubs upon exclusive clubs she went. Cocktails upon fancy cocktails she drank. Toyboys upon hot toyboys she snogged. There were random midnight stumblings. One morning, she woke up with a guy whose name she barely recalled. It felt weird but she brushed it off.
"This must be the best time of my life!" she thought.
It was. The girl grew confident, bold and popular. To be loved by so many, yet nobody, particularly. Ironic, she thought.
"I am not heartbroken anymore. At least I don't feel that pain.."
She went on living her lifestyle.
One day, she boldly embarked on her first solo travel. Unbeknowst to her, it spawned a chain of events. Travelling opened her eyes, widened her mind and before long, she rediscovered that broken heart. Partying did nothing but to mask it.
As seasons go, the winds of change gradually took over. Slowly, she found herself outgrowing her party lifestyle.
"I don't know why I'm not enjoying clubbing anymore. Don't even let me begin with the toyboys!" she grumbled to her Seraphims.
She resisted the change. Unfortunately, there is little you could do to shake off the force of nature.
The change was radical.
Flighty toy boys and 3 a.m. stumblings out of clubs were passe. In comes personal training sessions in the gym, healthy eating habits & meaningful bonding sessions with friends. She was the healthiest and slimmest she had ever been! And she didn't even have to try!
The blizzard of October came and shook her to her core.
"If the HIV test turns out to be positive, do you have anyone to talk to?" the doctor asked her.
"I don't think I will be able to talk at all.." she nearly cried.
She could not fathom how a lifestyle choice (which seemed like a distant memory) could catch up with her. October was spent in deep anguish. Every day the symptoms became blindingly obvious. The night sweats. Low immune system. Ulcers. She prepared herself for the possibility of a HIV positive outcome.
This morning, one event completed my whole transformation.
A piece of paper in my hands - our test results.
Negative :)
I spent the whole morning crying for the girl's bold, glorious past. And for my enlightened, glorious future.
Here I am a woman (yes, a woman) typing her first entry to you. Perched on my lap, a worn out laptop, bound to be a life long companion. This is my kiss goodbye to the girl who knew so little, but whose passion runs deep. She and I have little in common but for our scarlet red passion. Thank you for making me the woman that I am...
Oh and Gabe, it is nice to meet you..
Passionately Scarlet (Red),
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved.
*Excerpts from Snow Patrol's ''Chocolate" Please take a minute to Join Red and eliminate AIDS in Africa :) October 23 An Ordinary, Little Miracle"And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words Although they did not feel For I felt what I had not felt before You'd swear those words could heal....."  Dear Gabrielle,
What did I say about miracles? You know it's been awhile since I have been touched by it. So much so that I have forgotten it exists!
Now despite her doctor's prior warning on the contrary, my sister has managed an ordinary, little miracle. She is pregnant!
Even the doctors agreed it is nothing short of a miracle! Just last week they told her it was impossible..It's times like this that I wish I was there to have first hand experience with everyone. I would probably not be able to stop crying!
What an emotional wreck I know.. it's not even PMT yet!! I just keep missing all these important events.. oh well.. Gosh, I'm gonna be an aunt, Gabe, can you imagine that?! My niece/nephew is soooo gonna be spoilt rotten, it's not even funny.. Not even my sister can try and stop me!
Passionately Spoiling,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved. *Excerpts from Vanessa Carlton's ''Ordinary Day
September 27 The Pilot & His Jet Plane[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] "All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.."
 Dear Gabrielle,
Imagine me..
In a five star hotel, in a foreign city. Pacing around nervously, biting my lips. Checking my reflection every two minutes. That Victoria Secret's lip gloss is at the risk of running out. I have only reapplied it for the upteempth time.
Ten minutes, I have been waiting for that knock on my door. Well I lie. Honestly? I have been waiting for the knock since I was fourteen!
The phone rang and jolted me out of my nostalgic teenage fantasies.
"Elle, I'm outside," said the voice I recognised so well.
My heart just about jumped. I found that minty gum. One cannot afford to have less than fresh breath in moments like this, Gabe!
For a long minute, I stood at the door. Feeling his presence at the other side. To peek or not to peek? I decided not to. I wanted to be wholly surprised. I hid behind the door instead. I swear the damn thing creaked freakishly and ever so slowly as I opened it. Gabe, I know it sounds corny but time actually stood still.
And there stood, he. Right infront of me. In his pilot uniform.
He took my breath away. Any girl would be blown away standing infront of the kind of guy she have dreamt of all her life "Elle?" he smiled.
"Chris?"
I wanted to pinch myself. Everything felt so surreal. I must be in some Twilight Zone series or something.
"Elle. Can I come in?" he attemped to break the spell.
"Oh yeah, but of course.." I stammered like a fool that I was..
And then he strutted into my room like he owned it! Surely, he did not know that I have always placed him on pedestal?
Snap out of it, Elle. Stop being a fawning buffoon. I attempted to make human conversation instead.
Impossible, Gabe. He had to strip.
"I'm sorry, I had to wear the uniform to get on the plane."
"It's okay," I croaked helplessly as he took his shirt off infront of me?! He grinned smugly as I tried to tear my eyes away from that impossibly toned pecs.
Yes, Gabe. I am aware that this reads like a far fetched Mills and Boon novel..
Anyway..
He and I spent the whole night bar hopping. Cocktails upon cocktails. We gatecrashed an 'Air crew' fancy dress party. How fitting, huh! I was surrounded by fake pilots and on a date with a real one..
I have to confess. We got along like a house on fire. He even taught me to play pool. It seemed perfect...
Yet, when he tried to kiss me.. I gave him my cheeks instead.
"No one has rejected me before, Elle," he was pissed off.
"You are moving too fast for me, Chris.."
He could not see my point. Sometimes a girl needs the right moment for these kind of things..
That was when reality hit me. Yes, he may be my all out fantasy guy. When it boils down to it, I rather a man less cocky, more down to earth with eyes only for me. Chris was none of that.
He left the next day on his jet plane. With that, I waved goodbye to my ultimate teenage fantasy. I must say, I count myself lucky to have a fantasy turn into reality.. well, part of it anyway! I am terribly lucky to learn this one BIG lesson..
That sometimes, what you want may not be what you need.
And what you need, may not be what you expect. I must learn to have faith in the unexpected.. Yeah, so it is great having fantasies, but it is in reality that we live great moments.. It was Doug who taught me that.. Gosh, I am ahead of myself here.. Till the next entry Gabe..
Passionately Jetting,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved. *Excerpts from Chantal Kreviazuk's ''Leaving On A Jet Plane" September 15 Unexpected Adventures of San Francisco & Honolulu[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] This One's For The Divine Seraphims & Lil' Sis..
Wish you were coming with me :)
Misses xo
"I've found, that I'm bound
To wander down that one way road.."  Dear Gabrielle,
I thought my travel bug has abandoned me. I wish! I guess once you've been afflicted with it, there is just no cure! The Seraphims would agree with me wholeheartedly. Here I am, bound on my second solo flight to San Francisco and Honolulu.
A million thoughts running through my head, Gabe...
Will I get along with the pilot, Chris? Now, what if I can't stand him? What should a girl do?
Gosh, I also cannot wait to finally meet some online acquaintances! There is Mark 'The Single Guy Rants' in San Francisco and Tani 'Mrs T' in Honolulu.. All I can say is 'Hello San Francisco! and 'Aloha Hawaii!'.. here's to unexpected adventures..
Speak to you in a week Gabe!
Passionately Unexpectedly,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved. *Excerpts from Paolo Nutini's ''Last Request" September 04 Jumping Cliffs..[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] This One's For The Beautiful Tyra x
"This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try.. 'Cause someday I might call you from my heart, But it might be a second too late.."  Dear Gabrielle,
We all take some degree of risks.
Some drive to the edge of the cliff, dip their toes in the air and then decide to pull back. That defines risk taking for some people.
Others, jump head first off the cliff. Not knowing what to expect yet fully anticipating the unexpected. Their motto: to rather die trying.
About five years ago, two girls reached a certain fork on a road. Major decisions had to be made. One road, everyone seemed to favour. It's so familiar and accepted that it comes with an instruction booklet
 Step 1: Find a good job
Step 2: Settle down to the lifestyle you were borned with
Step 3: Meet a nice, familiar guy and marry him.
Step 4: Start a family and live 'happily ever after'
It was thought to be the easiest, safest path ever. Everyone was living it, right?
The other road was slightly more controversial. It led to a boy and his most foreign of cultures. This meant breaking traditions, giving up families, moving across foreign cities and embracing the unknowns. The risk factor, if one has to be so scientific about it is 99.99%.
The first girl was my friend Tyra. She chose the boy. I watched in admiration as she risked everything she knew to passionately pursue what she felt was the love of her life.
The second girl was me. I was too afraid to choose my boy. But you already knew that, Gabe.
Five years later and I am ever slightly, the wiser.
I have learnt that you should never take a road just because everyone else was taking it. For the wrong person, 'safe' roads lead to dead ends. I mean look at me, the predictable path I took was a total disaster! I ended up having to pave my way with my own bare hands. I guess bejewelled high heels were not made for a road well travelled, huh!
 One thing that is also hard to accept is that sometimes endings may never be what you expect them to be. My friend, Tyra, despite her admirable passion, did not end up with the boy. Up till this day, her hurt runs deep and she is most averse to falling in love.
It is a shame really because I personally believe that five years ago, it was Tyra who made the wisest decision of us two. If I could turn back time, I would have done what she did. Yes, Gabe, I would choose getting hurt over living with regrets, any day. Afterall, time heals all hurt. Regrets however, gets deeper as time goes by. Over time, that would hurt more.
Five years on and we are still affected by the choices we made. Tyra took her risks, got terribly hurt but at least, she knew her ending. I will never know mine and will always be bound to ask what ifs.... That is why, I am who I am today. People have accused me of taking on way too many crazy risks. They fear that I would get hurt.
If only they knew Gabe that taking risks would not hurt me as much as never knowing what could have been. One regret is enough for this girl's lifetime..
Passionately Risking,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved. *Excerpts from James Morrison's ''You Give Me Something" August 07 The Great Revenge[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] "I must be going because
I got life to do.. I'm not missing you.."
 Dear Gabrielle,
Thursday, 3rd Aug:
I spent the whole day trying to get over French guy. It did not help that for the first time this summer, it was actually raining in London. Dark, grey and sombre, exactly how I felt. The conversation of the night before played in my head like a broken record.
French Guy: Elle, I think you are more in love with me than I am with you.
Me: (Gasps aplenty here) I'm not in love with you! Don't be ridiculous.
French Guy: Well, it does not matter. I spent the whole of Sunday thinking about us. It bothers me that we have been together for three weeks and I am not in love with you.
Me: Are you kidding me?
French Guy: Hmmph?
Me: Surely, you don't expect to fall in love with anyone in such short notice? It took me a year to fall in love with my ex-boyfriend (sorry I had to drag you in this conversation Gabe!
 )French Guy: Well, we are just too different, Elle. I'm a simple guy. You are too bling for me.
Me: (More uncontrollable gasps here) Look, I know you rather me wear baggy jeans and Converse shoes. I have tried to dress down so much when I'm with you. But you know what, when you met me, you knew I was a girlie girl! I don't understand why you are trying to change me? I accepted you as you are.
French Guy: Elle, we have too many different dreams.
Me: What? Like you wanting to travel loads. And me wanting to travel all the time? Like you wanting to work in the US? And me wanting to retire in Hawaii someday?
French Guy: (looking guilty) The sex wasn't great..
Me: (Sigh) It would have been better if you could get it up at least one time..
Friday, 4th August:
Woke up too early at 6.30 am and found myself in last night's dress and make-up. The taste of Pimm's lingered in my mouth. Memories of last night's dinner flashed by - me, sullen faced and distant. What a depressing presence I must be at Nelly's pre-wedding dinner.
You've got mail. And a chat request from Chris, a sexy pilot from Colorado. (He'd been emailing me since June..)
Chris: Hey you! About San Francisco.. you coming?
Me: (Gasps of delight) Yeah, sure. Why not! September?
Chris: Tell me the dates and I'll bid for the days off.
One day of singledom and already I have a date! I floated on cloud nine all day.. Here we come San Francisco!!
Saturday, 5th August
Nothing like a Saturday gym session to let go of any residual aggression. Bumped into hot fitness trainer.
(Okay, he's been flirting with me since July! Of course I didn't encourage him then, Gabe! )
Gym Instructor: How you doing? You're looking good.
Me: (looking puzzled) This old gym wear?
Gym Instructor: How's the workout going? Need any induction?
Me: I've already had mine, thanks... but I'm open to revised induction..
Gym Instructor: I'm open too. Anytime you want Elle... anytime you want.. (Gasps aplenty here..)
After my heart wrenching work out, I decided to be bold. For the first time since I joined the gym, I ventured to the unisex hot tub. Funny how a bikini can fill a previously vacant tub. Men are so predictable...
Cute guy: It's hot in here isn't it?
Me: Yes...
Cute guy: I saw you on the treadmill just now. You are very fit.
Me: Why thanks. (Looking longingly at pool) I wish I could swim though..
Cute guy: You don't swim?
Me: I'm too scared.. I almost drowned last year..
Cute guy: I'll teach you to swim.. you free tomorrow?
(Gasps to infinity...)
Now Gabe is this just not ridiculous? I was sure, when French guy dumped me, I would easily meet another boy round the corner. However, I did not expect it to be this fast. And so many boys! What's with the numerous options? Do I have a 'Newly Single' sign on my forehead?
French guy who? It's crazy how in just one day I can get over him. I don't really believe in revenge but this time round, revenge has been a great healer. And no revenge is greater than the revenge of living your life like nobody's business..
Do I miss French guy? Not really. I've done my mourning, and it's time to slam the door behind. Heck, there are too many doors awaiting to be opened! Question is, which door should I start with?? Whatever it is, a a little birdie tells me, I've got some romantic adventures brewing ahead... Watch this space, Gabe.. watch this space!
Passionately Revenging,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved. *Excerpts from Stacie Orrico's ''I'm Not Missng You" August 03 The Science of Being Dumped & Adam Rodriguez..[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] "Don't wanna play house no more .."
 Dear Gabrielle,
Another day, another heartbreak. Bet you did not see that coming. Yup, I know - how predictable. I can almost hear you say, 'Okay, Elle is dating again. People, better get the tissue paper ready!'
The difference this time round is...
For the first time in my life, I was dumped.
I can't get my head round this dumping concept. So okay, you know and I know, that my speciality is vague endings. Endings with ends so loose you don't even know where anything begins and if anything has even ended..
This dumping thing with all of its 'spending two hours with someone analysing causes and effects' is one hell of an alien concept to me. It makes me feel like my favourite CSI Agent ...
 Adam Rodrigues, yumm... can you say closure any faster?
Right. Back to my point.. when does matters of the heart gets to be rocket science? Why am I even so calm and accepting the logic of him dumping me?? Am I not supposed to throw plates or better still, rocks at the boy? Somebody, give me some rocks now..
 Oh Gabe, it is useless. Keep your rocks. This dumping thing has brought out a 'Rational Elle'.. very bizarre, I know!
Anyway, for someone with major issues of abandonment, you would think that being dumped would be my greatest nightmare. You know what? It was. All my life, I have acted and made decisions in the sole motivation of not being dumped. I hide my true thoughts and feelings so as not to be offensive. I play games to sustain a man's interests. Tonight, I realised that being dumped is really not as bad as I thought.
Sure I only had to cry. On his shoulders and on one's platboy (the platboy is gonna taunt me about it for months, no doubt!)
Sure, I even had to torture Shania and Ally with all the evil specifics. But you know what Gabe? By the end of the night, I felt like the biggest burden have been lifted. I actually found myself laughing at everything. I mean look at this entry for God's sake. Not a slight trace of weepiness.. nada!!
Why am I laughing Gabe? Am I going psycho? Well that's one possibility. Another is that, somewhere around the corner is a new boy waiting to make or break my heart.
This time round though, my sole motivation is to be the real me. I am not going to play games or hold back my true self. From tonight, yours truly have no fear (okay maybe a weeny bit) of being dumped.. and boy, is she gonna wreak havoc on those future unsuspecting boys. Unleash this dragon, come what may!
July 21 The Power of One[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] "Have you come to raise the dead?"
 Dear Gabrielle,
Here's one irony.
All your life, you have searched for that one thing that should supposedly 'complete' you.
 With a determination rivalled only by an Olympic athlete, you travel all corners of the world to find it. You have an idea of what it should be.
It entails one man, a whole lot of passion, a fairytale romance and a he
 rt brimming with kindness. Yeah okay, so you are a slightly demanding dreamer sort.. 
Over time, you encounter non-stop passion. There's even the occasional romance. On lucky days you manage to meet both! Gasp!
But a heart full of kindness, is the one thing that eludes you. You soon learnt that passion and romance makes you fly high.
Without kindness, however, the eventual fall hits you crashing rock bottom low. You hit the ground, battered. Your he
 rt, splattered into pieces for all to witness. Eventually, you become jaded.
Back down to Earth, you discovered that one irony. What you were looking for, you already have found all along.
Passion, romance and kindness, they are all within you. You no longer need to find The One. You are okay. Besides, who needs to feel complete anyway? Afterall, is it not just a human condition to crave for something or the other..
 You embrace one-ness in all its flawed entirety.Here's one more irony for you, Gabe.
 One man is standing outside the thorny, vined walls that you have carelessly erected.
He attempts to climb over the treacherous walls using all he has. He seems to have it all!
 He's French, so romance and passion are his obvious ticks! Just today, he blew your mind away with one spectacular act of kindness. One by one, the bricks are falling. Not if you can help it, you say. You are happy being just one. You try to put those bricks back up again. Strangely, you are happy to feel dead to love.
That's one hell of an irony, is it not?
 Here's one more.
That one thing you have searched all your life, suddenly comes knocking on your door when you no longer want it. Question is, should you let it in?
Passionately One,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved. *Excerpts from Mary J. Blige feat U2''One " June 26 The Ex-Files[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ] "Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em Take your space and take your reasons But you'll think of me.."  Dear Gabrielle,
Sometimes I wonder how it must feel for you to have an ex-girlfriend write to you in lurid details about her love life?
Do you find it strange at all? I have to admit, sometimes I do!
 Or do you find it all too funny? Yes, my misadventures can be hilarious once we get over the heartaches! Do you even feel a slight tinge of sympathy for me? Most people seem to do!!  How about a hint of jealousy? Let me be the first one to admit it. No matter how much you are over someone, it is the hardest thing in the world to imagine them with with someone else. Do you not agree?
Due to this reason alone I have never tried to dig up my ex's files. Ex-es, they are X-ed for a reason. But just late last week I found myself asking Shania.
"Do you wonder what's happened to your exes?"
Turned out we both do. Not because we have the desire to get back with them. Generally, ex-es are best forgotten. But there comes a time when little things trigger little memories. It starts you thinking of that someone.
You start wondering how they are. How do they look like now? Do they still wear that perfume that you loved so much? Do they still laugh at the same things? Do they look better with someone else?
I can never get used to this ex-factor Gabe. How can you spend so much time with someone, share the most intimate things with them and one day, they disappear from your life forever. How can someone be a perfect stranger, then turn into a best friend and ended up the perfect stranger again. Is it not just a waste of time?
I guess one could try and be friends with an ex. But the reality is that it is impossible. Someone is bound to carry residual feelings. I remember it took me over a year of clean break from you before we could even talk again. A clean break up is often neccessary to get over an ex completely.
Unfortunately, we are all guilty of not being able to let go of someone we love. Men are especially guilty of this. Many of my ex-es have left me fuming when they try to communicate with me months (even years) after our break up. I have no idea why I am so angry with them for trying to contact me. Maybe, they felt something that I missed. I guess I do not want to be reminded of what I have lost.
Now this weekend, I bumped into an ex. It took me ages to get over him. The second I saw him, my heart skipped a bit. I realised why I adored him in the first place. He spent the whole night flirting with me. I spent the whole night remembering exactly why we were not together. Although I was still attracted to him I knew nothing will change when it boils down to our relationship. It was a dead end.
Sure it is all good to be reminiscing about old times but one thing this girl has learnt is not to stare too long at closed doors. Especially when there are so many doors infront waiting to be opened. And maybe, just maybe, one of those doors, holds the key to a keeper. You never know..
Passionately Opening Doors,
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved. *Excerpts from Keith Urban''You''ll Think of Me" * Ex-files images are of actors and not Elle's actual exes. Although some,it has to be said, may have a slight resemblance to the real things!! ;) June 17 The Late Postcard from ParisThe Just One of Best MSN Spaces
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved. *Excerpts from Marc Broussard ''French Cafe" June 13 A Midnight Drama On River Seine[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]
"Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile.."  Dear Gabrielle,
Put a slightly jaded, (nevertheless) hopeless romantic in the City of Love. Add a 'compulsory' love interest with the same brand of passion. What do you get? Fireworks.
It was incredibly romantic to walk along the tree-lined street of Champ Elysee, Gabe! The Eiffel Tower looked more breathtaking with every minute. Then, there was the midnight love song serenade and a marriage proposal!
 If only they came from just one man. It did not and this is where I have to take you back to that midnight drama along River Seine.
One a.m., Patric and I were at each other's throats. And not in a sensual way either!
 But we did get on really well. There were some romantic moments too! But I am not jaded without a reason. His no-committal signs were my red light. I proceeded with caution, I reacted with detachment.
Problem is, everyone else seemed to think we were attached. Gee Gabe, I don't know, why we didn't manage to fool them. Perhaps the holding hands and lingering looks has got something to do with it?
 "You've asked her to marry you yet?" one Frenchman asked out of the blue as we sat infront of the Notre Dame.
We laughed it off.
"Tell him, I'm your boyfriend," Patric whispered.
"He's not my boyfriend." I grinned at Frenchman through gritted teeth. Now, it is one thing to not want to be with me, and another to not let others be with me.
 Do you sense the drama heating, Gabe? Frenchman and his posse of four proceeded to flirt with me. Then started an impromptu hip hop rendition about marrying me (I have to admit the French have excellent musical taste!
). It ended with one on bended knees! "I can't believe he asked you to marry him infront of me!" Patric joked as we walked away later.
"Why not? Someone has to!" I joked back.
It was no joke - he was jealous and I was milking it
 We headed to a bar in the Latin Quarter and the queries to our status quo continued. I decided to play nice and left it vague.
Back to River Seine at 1 am.
"Elle, it's weird huh, having a dozen people asking us what we are to each other?" Patric started.
"I think I should clarify with you. I enjoy being with you. You are fun and so cool. But at this point in time, I am not looking for a relationship. I just want us have fun and I hope we are on the same page?"
My fireworks exploded.
"You are soo patronising!" I went. "What makes you think I need clarification? I was the one who told everyone you were not my boyfriend, remember? You have given me enough hints the whole weekend. What makes you think I want anything from you?" I shouted for all of Paris to hear. It must have echoed down the River towards the French suburbs too..
The drama went on for four hours. He could not see how insulting he was. I could not see how irrational I was. The cocktails no longer seemed like a great idea.
Here I am today, nursing my flu (nope, no heartbreaks- I'm slightly wiser!
) and trying to figure out why I reacted the way I did. All he wanted to do was to clarify our relationship status. Truth hurts, I guess and here Gabe, is my honest truth. Deep down, I know it really is not his fault. Sure, he should have guessed that no one travels across the ocean, at the last minute to have a mere fling. Flings could easily be had in London- it would have been cheaper.
As much as I tried to refute that I am not expecting anything from him, I lie. In all honesty, I was. Never mind that I was not wholly attracted to him. I was caught up in the moment and as jaded as I thought I was, there is still that predominant trait inside of me that believes in love, Mr Right and magical moments.
Patric has proven to be just one in the long line of wrong men. And I am tired of being yet another wrong boy's, wrong girl.
Of all the people I know, I have been the one who have met too many wrong guys. The law of statistic does not seem to apply with me. Perhaps I should just move to Paris with its equally romantic French men? Now Gabe, wouldn't that be ultra dramatic!
Passionately Wrong (Again),
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved. *Excerpts from Maroon 5 ''She will be Loved"
June 09 Summer Heat[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]
"I've been waiting patiently
For him to come and get it .."
 Dear Gabrielle,
Summer's here, in London!
Is it just me or is there something in the summer air that makes a girl go all hot around the collar?
 After six months of self imposed hibernation, I am just raring to go out and play. Maybe it is the summer heat playing with my head but suddenly everywhere I go, hot men are aplenty!
At the supermarkets, at the parks, at the malls.. infact my new neighbour just moved in yesterday. His friend was a total hottie!
Today, I met my new housemate. Guess what? Hot.
Could there have been hot men all along but it is only in the summer that I see the light?
 The best part of all is that they are all extra flirty too. Nothing like sunshine to make men extra chatty. Summer is undoubtedbly, the best season to be a single girl, I say!
But despite the gazillion fit men around me, I am strangely only drawn to just one and you got it, he is absolutely nowhere near me. Damn this infatuation! You feel bound to someone even when you are not actually with them!
Anyway, I am off to Paris tonight to see him. The Seraphims have been pretty worried about this, but don't worry girls I will try not to fall in love with him!
Besides, there is always a chance that things may not work out! I will bear in mind that there are plenty of fishes in the London sea!
Ooh, makes me hot just thinking about it. Excuse me Gabe while I go make myself take some cold shower.. This summer heat has truly got to me!
June 06 The Freedom Trail[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]
"Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way .."  Dear Gabrielle,
What if you have two choices?
(1) To go on a holiday with your best friends to hot, sultry Dubai or
(2) To make your own way in mild Boston
Which one would you choose?
In normal circumstance, I would choose the former. Afterall, nothing beats great company when exploring exotic locations!
But what if that choice is really not yours to make? What if you woke up one Saturday morning with the irresistible urge to fly away to a City that never crossed your mind before. You know nothing about it, yet the urge was overwhelming. It was spontaneous, irrational and random. Boston was calling.
I had a feeling that I was meant to find something there.
Five days and four nights, I explored the streets of Boston. I delved deep into the history of the USS Constitution and shopped till I dropped in Newbury Street. I watched ships sailed by in Rhowes Wharf. I dined and marveled at the panoramic view on Top Of The Hub.
Just me, myself and I.
My every single senses, they were heightened. I remembered breathing in the salty midnight air and feeling so alive! That was when it hit me - I love being on my own.
Had I not been single, I would not have done as many things nor travel to as many places. I would not have known myself as much. I do not think I would have dared to follow my heart.
And to think that I spent so much time fretting about lost love affairs!
Things, they happen for a reason, Mom used to say. "So what was Elle meant to find in Boston?"
I hear you ask.
Well Gabe, I found my own two feet journeying along Boston's Freedom Trail. You see sometimes, a girl has to travel far to find something close to her heart.
June 02 The Flight Plan[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]
"Basically probability
Says that fate's come side with me.."  Dear Gabrielle,
I started this entry to tell you about my spontaneous trip last weekend. But now, I figured, it would have to wait. Sorry Gabe, but some stories are just begging to be told!
About this story of mine, strangely it began when the vacation ended. It unfolded itself in my favourite place - the Airport.
"God," I complained while waiting to board the plane.
"I know you are going to seat me next to someone terribly uninspiring. How predictable of you. Tsk!"
Obviously, I was speaking from experience. Obviously I sounded like a brat. Obviously, God did not appreciate my eye-rolling gestures.
I was comfortably marking my territory on seat 27G when I saw him coming. That kind of hottie, God certainly does not want sitting next to me, I chuckled like a smartass that I was.
'Hi, how's it going?' hottie smiled, staring at the empty seat next to me.
So okay, God has a sense of humour afterall.
"I am Gabe. You are?"
I choked! Blimey, God uses his humour too well apparently.
Before long, your namesake and I were chatting like old friends. As you know, it has been way too long since any boy captures my imagination. This one (let's call him by his middlename, 'Patric' to avoid future confusion
 ), is absorbingly fascinating! Have you met somebody who consistently says the same thing seconds before you are about to say them?
Well, Patric does.
Who else in the world counts 4 as their favourite number. Yup, Patric.
Who loves getting down to hiphop, R&B and detest house music? P.
Who thinks that Dan Brown is a novelist extraordinaire? Pat-O.
Who else lives the life of an expatriate in Europe?
You know his name by now..
Only a fool can deny that thing called sparkling chemistry. Suddenly, the seven hour flight seemed too short. But if ever I learnt from my old love lessons, it is to not take men and their flighty interests seriously
"You are coming over to see me in Paris right?" Patric asked as we parted.
I kissed him, exchanged email addresses and walked away without turning back. I certainly will not make the mistake of chasing a guy again. This girl is sooo over heartbreaks.
The thing about hearts is that it is impossible to deny it. Yes, I did not contact Patric but that does not mean I can stop thinking of him.
To my surprise, he emails me professing the same. I did say, we shared the same wave length. Now, he wants me to be in Paris next week. You are going to be in Venice right?
If I said that I love Paris in the springtime, would you excuse my absence?
May 25 The Girl And Her Itchy Feet[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]
"I'm a wanderer I have no place or time
I'm just drifting on this lonely road of mine If you would accept me for me Then I promise you that there's a better man inside of me"
Dear Gabrielle,
I think it is in my blood - this need to wander around and not be stuck in one place for a long time.
Last Saturday, I woke up with the need to travel somewhere. God knows, over the past month, I have been to three places and still it is not enough.. Is there anything that can satisfy this craving?
Gabe, I believe I have been caught by the travel bug. Suddenly, this foreign city is not foreign enough.
The main sign is overt spontaneity..see, I have just booked my ticket for this weekend. I won't tell you where I'll be..you will only find out when I'm back..
Meanwhile, enjoy the weekend with the Missus.I know I will
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