Love Chasing...

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November 07

[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]

"Suddenly I see...

She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see.."

Dear Gabrielle,

For a very long time, I believed that Love loves playing tricks on me. Time and again, it led me to believe I may have found Love. It got me on impromptu chases. I ran as fast as I could.

I never could catch Love.

"What is it about love staring you in the face ,

yet always remaining so out of reach?" I asked the Seraphims.

We were all baffled. I began to lose faith in Love. There were days when I even hate Love. A paradox of gigantic proportions, I know!

"I have had enough, I am not dealing with Love and all its bull.."

I kept repeating for those willing to hear. Everyone nod their heads dutifully.

Love obviously has other plans. Wherever I go, whatever I do, Love has a way of tempting me. Always with the same goodie; a boy with different faces.

How impossible for a (then)girl to stay in the path of straight and narrow, you tell me Gabe?

It (always) ended up with her going through the same motion - a web of exciting but brief romantic entanglements.

One day she started moaning to her platboys.

"How come there are no great guys out there for me?"

"Oh Elle, you are the blindest bat I know!" Amadeus exclaimed diplomatically. "Great guys are bloody everywhere. You just refuse to see them."

She looked at him funny then dismissed his logic. Few weeks later, another platboy provided much unsolicited observation.

"Dude, you are too much of a free spirit to settle down!" he grinned as we were dancing.

"Flailing arms and rocking head does not a free spirit make!" I was slightly insulted. And to announce it infront of his eligible bachelor friends too..

"I have spent forever trying to chase Love. I have a darn blog as evidence!"

Dude shook his head cynically and rolled his eyes.

"Dude, has it occured to you that Love has been chasing you all along but it is you who kept running away from it?"

I fumed but my womanly intuition was strangely feeling his reasoning..

"I know more than a few guys who would love to be with you. Truth is, you don't want to be caught...."

What absurd reasoning, I thought!

Later that night found me asking, "What if he was right? What if I have viewed Love from a completely wrong angle?"

All these while, I have adopted a victim's mentality. I kept asking 'Why can I never fall in love?'. What if maybe, I had a lot to do with not falling in love?

Click!

Like a Ruben's cube,

everything suddenly fits into place.

The truth is, Love has tried out a million and one form to try to make me fall in love .. But I have chosen options and people that make it impossible for me to do so..

Those emotionally unavailable boys, long distance infatuations and 22 year old toyboys -I could easily have said 'No' to them. But I didn't cause I love the thrill of new love affairs.They demanded very little of me.. Those great men (you included) who are materials for long lasting love stories, I kept running away from..why?

Funny, I grew up craving the Fairytale I was brought up with. In my head, I wanted Prince Charming to live happily ever after with. But in my heart, I rather be the Princess responsible for her own happy ever after.

That's my honest truth to goodness truth..

"It's okay, you know," the much-married Dior kindly stated as I loudly wondered if there was something wrong with me. "Not everyone is meant for a house with white picket fences and 2.4 kids. Some are meant to explore new places, touch new faces and sense new experiences on their own. Just like your favourite eagle."

Like my favourite eagle indeed. *Sigh* Sometimes, it is the hardest thing in the world accepting who you really are. But doing otherwise, is next to impossible, no?

Now, here's a note for Love. You can chase me all you want, I have little objections. Afterall, I would not trade all your adventures for the world. Maybe one day, I may get tired of running and you will catch up

I am wise enough to never say never. Till then, I shall live the way my heart craves- happily ever after with me, myself and I...

Passionately Happy,

Elle Sheri xo

*Excerpts from KT Tunstall's ''Suddenly I See"

7:15:02 AM | Blog it | Heart & Soul

Comments (10)

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	No namewrote: http://www.usome.com http://site.usome.com http://news.usome.com http://blog.usome.com http://paper.usome.com http://image.usome.com http://music.usome.com http://bbs.usome.com http://114.usome.com http://site.usome.com/weather.htm http://web.usome.com Jan. 25
	Billiewrote: Sadly, love rarely comes when you beckon it. Sometimes, I have just wished that I could love that perfect male friend but she just wouldn't come when I commanded it. Usually, she comes when I least expect it and have totally given up on looking. Of course... at times, it would have been nice if she had picked a decent guy for me to fall in love with. I have high hopes for the current guy. Billie Nov. 10
	Coral wrote: Well I just hate Girls basically. I can't help it, but we're in an environment where we're always together, and that's how it is, and tbh, it's getting to me now because I don't have alone time which I hate. Moving on. Today was crap. Rephrase: This Morning was crap. I couldn't get anything right, felt really self-concious and as if people were watching me all the time. I went in thinking yes, I know all of these things from last week etc. and got in there and just froze. It was totally frustrating. I don't want to make an idiot of myself and it annoys me that I don't know everything because I get on the Phone and people say things to me and I don't know what they mean so I'm like "Erm. Just one moment please.." And I felt stupid. So I went to the Gym and felt fulfilled. "Death by Cross Training" 20Minutes on that and I'm dead. But I can life 45K on the Press! I love the Gym. It's wonderful. xxx Nov. 9
	T I N Awrote: Elle, Oh how I can relate to this one! It's a hard reality to admit to, but I' have often been accused of being a runner too. I've often wondered (like you), at what point do we choose to plant our feet firmly on the ground and say YES to opportunity that is constantly staring us in the face? ...I suppose that when the right one and right time are aligned, something will just click. :) I'm glad to see that you are doing well and are able to learn more about yourself through your experiences! Lots of love, ~Tina Nov. 9
	Heather MacCarahanwrote: I think every woman runs when it's not the right time for them to love. The one you think should be the one to love and to love you breaks your heart. Or so I have been told. ;0) HUGS Nov. 9
	Coral wrote: You know what. You're quite right. Quite a good runner as well if I may say so. "Not everyone is meant for a house with white picket fences and 2.4 kids. Some are meant to explore new places, touch new faces and sense new experiences on their own. Just like your favourite eagle." < I love that. I don't think I am either. But who cares. I'm jsut so not bothered about anyone at the moment and Girls are just really frustrating me that i feel like just shaking them and screaming out. Very Annoyed, Coral xxx Nov. 8
	Justinwrote: Wonderful. Love will find you one day, but have such fun running from it! JK Nov. 8
	Becca Kwrote: Love is what happens when you are busy making other life plans. I hope that you find it. You are so deserving! Becca Nov. 7
	Tanilanwrote: I think love finds you when you least expect it. You aren't looking for it and then when it's finally standing in front of you, you know it's love. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world, Princess. You deserve it! Nov. 7
	FBK wrote: Duchess, I hate to say I told you so. FBK. Nov. 7

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