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October 28 Remebe[red]: A Girl, Her Broken Heart & A Laptop[Just One of Best MSN Spaces ]  "This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive.."  Dear Gabrielle,
Here lies a girl you used to know so well. One I now know so little of.
Herein lies her memory.
:: REMEMBE(RED) ::
"How am I gonna mend this broken heart?" the girl pondered in despair.
Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw it in all its shiny, glistening glory.. The laptop!
 Voila! "I am going to write my heart out to Gabe, like I used to!"
She wrote most days. Most nights, the extent of her broken heart was amplified. Only the weekends kept her going.
Clubs upon exclusive clubs she went. Cocktails upon fancy cocktails she drank. Toyboys upon hot toyboys she snogged. There were random midnight stumblings. One morning, she woke up with a guy whose name she barely recalled. It felt weird but she brushed it off.
"This must be the best time of my life!" she thought.
It was. The girl grew confident, bold and popular. To be loved by so many, yet nobody, particularly. Ironic, she thought.
"I am not heartbroken anymore. At least I don't feel that pain.."
She went on living her lifestyle.
One day, she boldly embarked on her first solo travel. Unbeknowst to her, it spawned a chain of events. Travelling opened her eyes, widened her mind and before long, she rediscovered that broken heart. Partying did nothing but to mask it.
As seasons go, the winds of change gradually took over. Slowly, she found herself outgrowing her party lifestyle.
"I don't know why I'm not enjoying clubbing anymore. Don't even let me begin with the toyboys!" she grumbled to her Seraphims.
She resisted the change. Unfortunately, there is little you could do to shake off the force of nature.
The change was radical.
Flighty toy boys and 3 a.m. stumblings out of clubs were passe. In comes personal training sessions in the gym, healthy eating habits & meaningful bonding sessions with friends. She was the healthiest and slimmest she had ever been! And she didn't even have to try!
The blizzard of October came and shook her to her core.
"If the HIV test turns out to be positive, do you have anyone to talk to?" the doctor asked her.
"I don't think I will be able to talk at all.." she nearly cried.
She could not fathom how a lifestyle choice (which seemed like a distant memory) could catch up with her. October was spent in deep anguish. Every day the symptoms became blindingly obvious. The night sweats. Low immune system. Ulcers. She prepared herself for the possibility of a HIV positive outcome.
This morning, one event completed my whole transformation.
A piece of paper in my hands - our test results.
Negative :)
I spent the whole morning crying for the girl's bold, glorious past. And for my enlightened, glorious future.
Here I am a woman (yes, a woman) typing her first entry to you. Perched on my lap, a worn out laptop, bound to be a life long companion. This is my kiss goodbye to the girl who knew so little, but whose passion runs deep. She and I have little in common but for our scarlet red passion. Thank you for making me the woman that I am...
Oh and Gabe, it is nice to meet you..
Passionately Scarlet (Red),
Elle Sheri xo
(C) Elle Sheri. All Rights Reserved.
*Excerpts from Snow Patrol's ''Chocolate" Please take a minute to Join Red and eliminate AIDS in Africa :) Comments (16)
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